After three and a half years I still miss Caleb every day, but I don't mourn his loss like I used to. What I mourn more now are the "what could have been's".
Each day I find joy in watching the new things that my daughter is learning to do or the new phrases that she comes up with. I love it. But yet, it makes me sad. Sad because I don't get to watch Caleb grow up yet, and to see how his personality would differ. I see Kylie interact with other kids, particularly a neighbor boy who is just a month younger than Caleb would have been. Kylie absolutely adores this boy. She loves to do what he's doing and follow him around everywhere. Every time I see them together I can't help but think of how much she would have adored her older brother.
I miss watching Caleb grow up.
I miss watching my kids grow up together.
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Mindy,
ReplyDeleteIt's so nice to hear you open up; I know it's hard but hopefully you feel better afterwards.
You've been through a tough thing and I can imagine that it would be hard to talk about Caleb especially to those who aren't close. But yes, you should be proud of the fact that you are a mother of three.
I guess Caleb had a mission to serve in heaven and I bet he's looking out for all his siblings up there.