It's a boy

To many looking at our family of three girls, they may wonder why we aren't more excited by the idea of finally having a boy.  We had a boy.  Then we had three girls.  And now we are having a another boy.  Of course we're excited, but maybe not to the degree that others think we "should" be.

Even though we were told that Caleb's defects were because of "random occurrence" and that they are just as likely to happen to anyone as to happen to us again (which is very rare), after having three healthy girls, we have wondered if gender wasn't part of the problem.  Is is possible for us to have a healthy boy?

"It's a boy!" the ultrasound technician informed us at an appointment I had at 15 weeks.  The reason we found out so early is because I have been going in for extra ultrasounds because at 11 weeks I started bleeding.  While I don't have much external bleeding, there is still internal bleeding.  And as long as it is there, there is a higher chance of miscarriage and complications.  They say the baby is doing great and that the bleed is slowly getting smaller.  The hope is that it will be gone by my 20 week mark, and that everything with the baby looks good.

I try so hard to hold onto that hope and to my faith that everything will be okay, but it's so hard some days.  So hard.